The worst thing I ever wrote for the BZL...it's so horrible, but you demanded it: Repost of NATS #1! Watch out...it's awful. Be warned. ;)


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Posted by Nats on September 20, 2001 at 16:08:27:

In Reply to: Alright folks... it's time to repost your character's first appearance! posted by Visionary on September 18, 2001 at 09:34:02:

*Slightly edited because some things sounded totally wrong. Howeve,r enough was left in to show how bad it was*

NATS #1
By Nats...

"Man, I'm bored," said Bill Reed, sitting in his chair, drinking beer, and watching the Simpsons. "Well, I could clean out my closet." He stood up and walked over to it.

Opening it, a ton of crap fell on him. "Ouch!" he yelled. Then he saw the bag. It said 'Fairy Dust' but in his drunken stupor he thought it said 'Nats's Spice.'

He thought it'd taste good on pizza, so he took out a pizza and sprinkled the "spice" on it. Then, because he was hungry, he ate the whole pizza and passed out.

When he woke up, he had a hangover. So he stumbled around his apartment, and fell out the window.

He screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA---," then he gasped for breath, "--AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

But suddenly, he stopped falling. In fact, he was suspended in midair.

"I can fly!" he shouted. "Wow, now I can be a super-hero, just like my favorite heroes, the Lair Legion! Oh, I sound so cliched."

He flew to the nearby building that said "SUPER-HERO COSTUMES. YOU GOT THE POWERS, WE GOT THE SKINTIGHT OUTFITS."

Landing on the ground and walking in, he said "I would like an orange costume please."

The shop-owner said, "It'll go great with your hair. So what's your name? The hero name. We keep secret identities secret," he smiled, giving a thumbs up.

Bill thought, That spice must've given me my powers, so I'll call myself Nats!

"Nats," he said.

"Okay, that'll be five hundred dollars and.....sixteen cents. You'll have your costume in three days."

"Three day waiting period? You're nuts!" He stormed out. But before he got to the door, he said "I still want the costume, though."

He flew back to his apartment. I still need a costume, he thought, so he threw together a sweatshirt and sweatpants, put on dark sunglasses, and took a name-tag that said, "HELLO, MY NAME IS..." and wrote "Nats." Then he flew back out the window to look for crime.

"I can't see a thing in these glasses," he said, and he crashed into the wall of a building and knoecked himself uncounscious.

A strange looking person walked up and said "Master would enjoy this hero," and picked him up.

TO BE CONTINUED...
NEXT ISSUE: Nats meets some of the gang!



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